Review: Alexander IRL (2017)

 

10/100

Alexander IRL is horrible, sure, but in a way that I didn't expect. Amid all the hate regarding the cast, I was actually impressed by them. They are influencers, sure, but they influence the goodness of the film most. I was astonished by how Brent Rivera's enthusiasm gave his role a very bright air, and how the rest really complimented the atmosphere well. But they had to compliment an atmosphere that's just... shit.

If you read about this film, you'll know that K. Asher Levin made it with the thought that influencers like Rivera will star so that the young demographic will be attracted to see the film. I'm 16 now, 15 when I first watch this film. I didn't watch it "bEcAuSe iTs bREnT", I watched it because it's simply in the YouTube Originals catalog. I've had one of the most confusing hour of my life. I'm aware this is my most amateur-written review, but it suffices for an amateur-written film.

The opening scene should've made me close YouTube and go "That won't do." A slo-mo of the trio ensemble walking to class as one of them (played by Bo Mitchell) skateboards with the most banal expression ever, is set to a song by Airplane. "We're on fire / Burn the ashes when it's over." Indeed, if this is a Blu-ray release I would've burn the disc as the film's over. Some reviewers took offense to the amount of pop songs used, but I don't get bothered by it. In fact, 2022's acclaimed series Heartstopper featured pop songs galore and it's a masterpiece. Alexander IRL instead just uses it for shock value among 13-year-olds, yet providing them no insight into any of its intended themes.

I just can't see how it can even sound like a good idea. The intentions are good and the message is good, but the message becomes hard to grasp when you realize that... wait, what is this film about? How to overcome climate change? How to touch grass more? How to not make your crush dump you after a first kiss while high on MDMA? How to be cool at class? All of this can potentially be weaved together, but Levin failed to. The dialogues are also sometimes very cringy, I now wonder how many takes one scene took. The environment feels off and eerie, the ensemble trio being the only ones that act as a catalyst. It's like they're detached from the world where they strive to be successful.

General Electric apparently thought of using this film as a means of promoting the industrial internet to youth-- where is the explicit promotion other than the credits and one dialogue mentioning "GE"? This is just unsuccessful in so many ways. I don't really expect much from a YouTube Original after The Thinning (2016), but my bar definitely wasn't as low as this. So did Rivera's fans, as I saw in one IMDb review. Whoever you are, you must acknowledge that this film is just weird, and not in a good way. It's feel-good, but it only cares about its feel-goodness. There's no depth or reasoning to it. No nuance or fluidity in its plot. It's just yet another repeat of the teen-goes-off-the-phone-and-touches-grass story.

Another of those ways is the film's editing. I will not blame the cinematography: the film was shot on an ARRI Alexa by an Emmy-nominated DOP, and the behind-the-scenes photos look promising. But the editing, oh did it ruin it. Scenes shot from home are made even more... homemade, making the look of the film the most amateur you can get. Background lights are like twice the brightness of Catch Me if You Can (2002), and with that I mean the lights are just irritating. The colors are too contrasted, making the overall visuals poor. The dialogues are sometimes not synced and a lot of them are too echoey, which I didn't expect for a major motion picture.

I can go on and on about this film... if I'm God, writing this review is like thinking about writer's block while trying to overcome writer's block. Overall, Alexander IRL is a mess in any way, and not even the charming Rivera or the humorous Kress, or the silly neighbor of the Finns (which is the only well-written character in the film) can save the shitpile of a screenplay, and shitpile of post-production. It is doomed from the start, and is a massive failure. If only Levin had taken the time to process the story and fix the flaws with the help of a third-party readers, he would've given less of a cringey air that even me as a teen loathe.

Alexander IRL is available on YouTube Premium.

This article originally appeared on Letterboxd, important with expansions.